RANDOM THOUGHTS - ABUSE

I recently viewed the Mary Winkler trial gavel to gavel on a community cable station. The court hearing was held in Selmer, TN, McNairy County which is sixty or seventy miles from Nashville. She was represented pro bono by an excellent law firm.

For those of you not familiar with the case, Mary was married to a 31 year old Church of Christ minister and he was the primary minister of the local Selmer Church of Christ. He came from 5 generations of Church of Christ ministers and his father is revered within the church for all of his good works as a minister. Selmer is a small rural town and, at least in Tennessee, "church" is the criteria for all judgement of behavior.

Not as an indictment, but as additional information for those of you not familiar with the Church of Christ, it is a male dominated church. No females can serve as ministers, elders, etc., and the home is ruled by the husband/father.
It is common practice that females are there to serve the males as they dictate, however, there is no restriction for their higher education or participation in youth guided groups led, of course, by a male. Mary Winkler was raised in a very strict Church of Christ family, went to two Church of Christ colleges and met her future husband, Matthew, at the last one.

As her husband's role grew in the church, they moved to several different towns and began a family resulting in three daughters. For whatever reason, Mary's family, and Mary, testified that her husband isolated her from her family and she was not encouraged to see them or talk to them. According to church employees, Matthew often belittled and denigrated her in front of others. She said nothing in response to these events and always projected that the family was happy and in harmony. Even when he, according to Mary, kicked her in the face and she had to go the hospital, she lied and said she was hit by a baseball accidentally. In Tennessee, doctors are required to report any hint of abuse so there wasn't any way she could tell the truth. Because of his position in the community and the church, she felt she had to cover up the truth.

The home situation became increasingly dysfunctional because of Matthew's fixation with pornography and sexual practices abhorrent to Mary, it was also exacerbated because of serious financial issues. In her frustration, anger and humiliation, Mary shot Matthew in the back while he was sleeping. She was later arrested and charged with 1st Degree murder. The children are with Matthew's parents and haven't been allowed to see their mother for more than six months.

One would expect that the sleepy little church-going rural town of Selmer would overwhelmingly vote to convict Mary of 1st Degree. It was of some surprise when the jury came back with "Voluntary Murder" which means she may have to serve 6 to 8 years. A far difference than the 50 years she might have had with a 1st Degree conviction.

I suppose Mary must feel lucky to have escaped with this lesser judgement and I doubt if she will appeal it. Maybe she was lucky, but from all the testimony I heard and my knowledge of the hierarchy of the Church of Christ, I think there was enough evidence to preclude any jail time. Of course, you can not shoot your husband/wife just because there's a disagreement, but in rebuttal to Ms. Filan's (MSNBC legal analyst) argument that you need to leave or divorce your husband if he abuses you, I would say she doesn't have a clue about the strength of the church to mold their families. If you divorce your husband/wife in the Church of Christ, it MUST be on the grounds of adultery. Otherwise, you will not be granted the right to re-marry and be considered a fully participating member of the church.

What a shame! There are so many loving, caring and forthright members of this church that one would hope some forgiveness/re-evaluation of church rules could come into play. Any woman must have the right to come to her church if she is being abused and to be heard without prejudice. The men who are the leaders of this church must begin a new attitude about the responsibility of men to carefully tender the care of their wives, daughters and female members of the church. No one should ever have to live in a violent situation, because we know, it will simply replicate itself in future generations.

The parents who are suffering such loss of their beloved son cannot comprehend or accept that Matthew could possibly be guilty of such transgressions. This is a personal tragedy and one that can't be mitigated or charges taken back. They are holding bravely to their understanding of their son and, perhaps, that is the only way they will carry on. We can also foresee that when Mary is finally released from prison, she will find and marry another strict Church of Christ member. We can only pray that this one will love her with care and maturity.

IMUS, AL & JESSE

As I earlier related, I've been watching Imus on MSNBC for the past four or five years. I essentially stopped tuning in about 3 or 4 months ago for a couple of reasons. #1, I really like the Wake Up Zone on 104.5 FM in Nashville as they have fairly cogent conversations about all sports, but more particularly, football since one of the broadcasters is former Titan, Frank Wycheck. #2, Imus has become more irrelevant because of his continued waffling on different subjects whether it be music or politics.

Looking back on the past few years of listening to Imus, I wonder why I wasn't infuriated by Imus's denigration of women specifically. He took on one of the MSNBC women, Contessa (?) and Janice, the weather women who is now on FOX as well as many, many other females. I know I questioned at the time whether that was fair or not, but in the context of the show, it seemed reflective of his brand of humor and not to be taken seriously. Why I watched Imus was because he had more insightful and informative interviews than ANYONE else on TV. There is no one at the national stations that can consistently get the "juice" out of someone like Imus could.

So, although I didn't hear the early April broadcast where he attacked the Rutger's basketball players, I was appalled as everyone because they were not media darlings like the Dixie Chicks and should not have been denigrated as they were. However, the insertion of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson absolutely turns my stomach. Those guys are such ambulance chasers for notoriety for their "cause" which is to put their names in front of us. If they were such honorable men, why have they not attacked the music labels for their continued assault against women. This hypocrisy has to end and this music (?) has to become responsible. As I mentioned in an earlier Blog, perhaps, if Pacman hadn't been exposed to this trash in the 'hood, just maybe he wouldn't have been in so many incidents against women from spitting in their face to making it "rain" in Las Vegas.

Come on, someone has to be responsible in removing this garbage from the airways without infringing on "artistic license!" Bring back Imus if he pledges NEVER again to have a witch hunt against women or assault them in any way!

PACMAN'S PLAY FINALLY PENALIZED!

Well, well, someone from professional sport's has finally made a statement for integrity! The odds that Commissioner Goodell would suspend Adam (Pacman) Jones for the entire season were not that great. The odds were better that he would go for a 0 - 3 game suspension which is what I believed he would do. I didn't think he would do anything that would "damage" the business end of the sport...but, surprise, surprise, he did it!

I'm not sure if Jones will appeal the suspension, but his attorney, in a conversation with 104.5 Sports Zone in Nashville, alluded to that option if he were, indeed, suspended. If the suspension is overturned or mitigated, that would be another rollover that Jones has grown to expect. Stay tuned!

The other sports flap going on is about dear ol' Imus. I had stopped watching him several months ago because he is often mean and vile about people as well as his hypocritical assumption of being a Republican. What a joke that was! However, my spotlight is turned on Al Sharpton, who has taken on Imus for his stupid labeling the fine girls from Rutgers, because I would like him to do something about the dispicable gangsta' rap and hiphop that denigrates ALL women. Why is it allowed on the radio and why do I have to listen to it during the pre-game warmups? If Sharpton is such a pinnacle of correctness, let him do something about that and, PLEASE, don't say it's OK because it reflects a "cultural" thing! WHO needs that kind of "culture?" Maybe if Pacman hadn't grown up listening to that trash, he might still be playing football!

NFL CONVERSATION WITH ADAM JONES

In the event you haven't heard, Adam (Pacman) Jones was summoned to the NFL office for a chat with the new commissioner. He apparently was advised to communicate with the fans and an interview was set with Dion Sanders on the NFL network. I've seen clips and comments about the interview, but if Commissioner Goodell thinks that is going to restore his reputation with Tennessee fans, he has another "think a comin!"

There is nothing this thug can say that will make a difference. What fans wanted to see this past year was a real attempt by this young man to divest himself of his hoodlum friends and start being in the right place at the right time instead of his willful, immature attitude of doing his "thing!"

Goodell is supposed to impose some kind of sanction on Jones and Chris Henry for their bad behavior in the next week. Do you really think it matters what he does unless it is setting them both down with a year's suspension. I doubt that will happen, but I do have hope that the Las Vegas run-in may turn out to be Jones' final event that will suspend him for a year or ban him forever. We're tired of him in Tennessee.