Funerals and Etcetera...

I confess! I've been undisciplined, just didn't have much to say or, more probably, couldn't organize my thoughts. I'm still at an impasse because yesterday, a former colleague and I drove north to eastern Kentucky to attend our former boss's mother's funeral. More than eight (8) hours up and back and I'm kind of "zonked" today. However, you may find our experience interesting, if not somewhat morbidly entertaining.

I had never been to eastern Kentucky, and the town of Barbourville located near Hazard, KY. It was a beautiful trip through the lazy Appalachian foothills and their heavy summer foliage. The roads were all good and the weather was perfect with little humidity. We went to the small funeral home and were greeted by our boss's gracious family. "Granny" would have celebrated her 99th birthday in September and the family shared with us much of her influence over this large congregation of family. She was "one of a kind!" Apparently, "Granny" liked to be in control of most everything and often made a dramatic statement to ensure her opinion was implemented.

The funeral began as scheduled and the people who spoke were all members of the family since several were ministers. However, we think "Granny" was getting bored with too much ceremony so she must have felt angelically charged to speed up the group "love" because her son-in-law who had just given a fitting tribute at the beginning of the service, suddenly fell forward, clutching his chest. When that happened, his wife began to scream and also fell forward. Well, from that moment on, it looked to us in the rear of the room that the whole family began to domino into cries and confusion. The friend I was with, grabbed her cell phone and dialed 911. There was no answer, but in a few moments she received a call back and for some unfathomable reason, shouted to the caller that they better get an ambulance here NOW and that there had been TWO heart attacks! She related later that she thought it would make more impact.

The ambulance arrived and the EMS professionally assessed the scene. The good news was that the wife was ok, but, unfortunately, her husband did suffer a stroke and was later transferred by his nephew who was also a minister late that afternoon to Cincinnati by a hearse borrowed from the funeral home (I understand he had an interest in that as well.) Confusing, yes, but those of us who have a rural background relate to the many occupations practiced by one person.

In any event, the funeral service was brought to a close and we were all relieved there had not been further damage to family members. Once you go through something like this, particularly as an outsider, you don't know exactly how to act. When there is a sudden and shocking scene, you hold your breath until you can sort it all out and the chaos recedes. Fortunately this family has a great sense a humor, one probably inherited and embellished by "Granny!" My boss offered that the whole scene was probably orchestrated by "Granny" and that she couldn't have been happier that she was still in control! All in all, it was a very interesting experience. Maybe now, I'm only missing an Irish "wake" to complete my funeral repertoire. We Scot's are soooooo boring!

That's about all on my mind today, except my puzzlement over what's happened to my White Sox! We don't get enough news here in Tennessee so I'm real curious about what Ozzie has on his mind. Do the Tiger's have enough to go the season and my favorite NL team, the Red's, are they going to turn the corner? No change in the McNair situation except the Titans are now requesting McNair to have a physical before he enters the training camp. They contend that he failed his physical at the end of last year so he must have one now to see if he's up to par. I think it would be fair to call the whole situation "As The World Turns!" I sure wish either the Lions or Raiders would come calling for McNair because I hate like hell for him to go to the Ravens without at least some compensation to the Titans. Oh, well...